Do dogs live in bullet time?

So I was thinking about this the other day, and it got me thinking. A dog lives 1/7th the time a human does, so my parent's dog Leroy is about 9 or 10 now, which would make him about 70 years old. Pretty good that he can still roll over and even jump up onto the couch or bed or something. I have a hard time vaulting into our raised bed, and I'm about 50x as tall as he is and I'm only 26. Then I started thinking some more and I wonder if time is even slowed down for them.
Do things that take us 30 minutes really take them 3 and a half hours? When I tell him to sit, does he hear sssssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!, like 45 being played at 33? And what about watching TV with my parents? Does sitting down and watching America's Got Talent take 7-14 hours of their life? I don't think I can sit through that. I barely can stand to watch the Hoff for 2 hours, and thats on tivo fast-forwarding through the boring parts. And then sleeping, if the time theory is true, then he has successfully slept for more than a day. Which is pretty amazing. He must think that humans move really slow, but I guess he moves that slow too, I'm having a hard time balancing space time in 1/7th the speed. What about when my parents go to work? They are gone for more than 2 full days, which is an amazing amount of time to spend holding it and not going to the bathroom. And what about going to the bathroom? To him, that probably runs a good hour or so. When was the last time you had a nice, calm, relaxing hour long bathroom break? Just a thought.

ps... for those of you who don't know what bullet time is... watch the Matrix, or see here

Favorite PostSecret from last week

I loved looking into the girl's bathroom too. In elementary school, we used to dare each other to run in there. I always figured that they had urinals and everything too. Pretty dumb.

My Sister's Kid

So my sister emailed me a couple days ago to tell me that I don't write in my blog enough about her. So I decided to add this post about my nephew.
My sister Raygon cuts hair. She's up at her house in Idaho and they are about to have some big party or something at their house and her husband decides that he needs a haircut. So she goes into the bathroom and buzzes Andy's hair. Andy jumps in the shower and Raygon starts getting ready in the mirror in the bathroom. My nephew is playing in their bedroom so he doesn't mess up the house that has been cleaned for this big party. (I'm probably getting some of the details wrong, be every writer has to write his own story, right?) So as Raygon is getting ready, she hears the clippers turn on, on my nephew Kaleb say, "Haircut, haircut!" Turns out, he wanted to be just like his mom. So, they decided they had to just shave his head completely, but before they did, they snapped the below pictures, good thing he's not a girl.

Money, Money, Money

So it seems like all the problems that I have with my jobs always have to do with money. Which I feel is strange, since I don't really consider myself a money-motivated person, but so it is.

At my old job, they were rolling in money. My boss constantly bragged about how much the company was making, or how much they were going to make from this deal. Or how he just saved the company thousands of dollars by being a cheap ass on this deal or that, which was all fine. I'm fine with a company bragging about its success. My problem was that when I felt like I needed some more money because I was trying to qualify for a better house, all I was told was that I could work some extra hours, and maybe make some overtime, even though I was a salary employee. And on top of that, I saw the company cut corner after corner. Not paying for Microsoft Windows licenses, buying the cheapest computers known to man, finding the cheapest (not most reliable) vendor for every service, cutting back on employee benefits, keeping employee salaries ridiculously low, because it's easier to hire someone new with no skill set and train them than to keep someone that already has it. It wasn't until I threatened to quit, that I was offered an almost 50% pay increase. Which I feel like was a slap in the face. Before they couldn't afford to pay me more, I had to earn it. But now that I was going somewhere else, I was offered a HUGE increase. Obviously they believed I was worth more, they just weren't willing to pay me more, until I quit. Needless to say I left, and haven't looked back. Well, I guess I've looked back, but mostly to say, "Man I'm glad I don't work there any more."

So now I'm at my new job, and we are an internet startup, so our funding comes from investors. When we were running low on money, everything is hush, hush. The engineers don't get to hear anything about whats going on. Management is way to busy to talk to us, they can't tell us anything about their conference room meetings, but when we finally did get funding, look out. They started spending money like it grows on trees, because I think to them, that it does. My boss goes out and immediately buys each of us miniMacs and new monitors, and while I am grateful for the new computer, I would have much rather just had a laptop that I could take home and work from, but our opinions aren't solicited. I think the larger problem though, is that they spend money on useless items. Each of the engineers was purchased a video camera so that we could carry it around and make recordings and upload them to the website. The decree: "One video per week or it gets taken away" was issued, but some of my coworkers have never upload videos and they still have a camera. Then I walk in one day, and my boss and I each have new Sidekick phones. This is so that we could keep in touch with work a little better. We did the pre-paid, month to month plan. After 2 months, we started running low on funding, so we stopped paying for it. So a couple hundred dollars was wasted on the phones themselves, which we no longer use. So then, my boss decides that he doesn't want to have the sidekick + his cell phone, so he decides to go and a buy a blackjack. He's going to use it for work, so he uses the company money. Since he's not starting a new plan or anything, the company just gets to eat the $400 cost for the phone. Which he already has one of that he doesn't use. Then a few weeks ago, he decided he needs the i-Phone, and he needs it for work, so work has to pay for it. Its ridiculous. It happens that way with everything around here.

So I don't know what I'm looking for in a company. I don't think my problems here are worth quitting over. I get paid well, and I feel like I have things to do, and I enjoy what I'm doing, but sometimes it just bugs. Hope I don't get Dooced for saying so, but I had to vent.