So, i have been thinking lately, and there are a lot of parallels between my old relationship, and my most recent one. Except the rolls were slightly reversed. Rather than me being the one who was broken up with, i was the breaker.

She definately loved me the way that I feel like I loved my last one, and I know that I loved her, just not as much as she did me. She definately helped me in every way, and I think she had a picture that I really wanted to go on a mission and that I was going to leave in March or something, and that we would stay together until I left. Obviously March has come and gone and I'm not on a mission. I don't really feel going, so I didn't. Anyways.

I think our breakups were really similar. We both tried to say that we should remain friends, that is, the breaker, wants to remain friends, but I get the feeling that it was difficult for her to be friend, just like it is difficult for me now. My problem is this... now that I know how difficult it was for her, or rather, how difficult it may have been, i don't really know, maybe she got over me in a few days, who knows. anyways, how do I appologize with out bringing up the same feelings that come up when my ex calls me? "Is she calling to appologize, is she calling to say that she was wrong?" Its a hidious paradox. I guess is will all work out in the end. or so they say.